


Don't Try This at Home

by PeachyLana



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Marvel Avengers Movies RPF, Thor (Movies) RPF, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Attempt at Thor roleplay, Casual Sex, Dirty Talk, F/M, Gen, No Angst, Roleplay, Scene Gone Wrong, Wrong as in still good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 16:04:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyLana/pseuds/PeachyLana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kat and Tom never had a scene together.  Maybe that was for the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Try This at Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BustersJezebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BustersJezebel/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Shenanigans](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091762) by [BustersJezebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BustersJezebel/pseuds/BustersJezebel). 



> Inspired by BustersJezebel's RPF Shenanigans (go read it!) I came up with this insanity.

Kat downed her third drink and tossed her hair over her shoulder. English pubs were such awesome places, and she was thankful this one was in walking distance of her hotel. She checked her phone again. No response. It was expected, considering she lost his number when her phone broke and DM’d him about an hour ago, but she was still annoyed. Maybe she shouldn’t have waited until the very last minute to try and contact him using the least reliable way possible. She needed that bit of liquid courage to work up the nerve to contact him at all.

 

“Douche,” she muttered. It still made her feel better to blame him, even if Tom had over a thousand people he followed so it was very doubtful he even saw her message that she was in the area.

 

She exited the ladies room but bumped into a guy who stepped right in her fucking way.

 

“Watch it there, Bro.” Kat put both hands up and tried to move around the tall motherfucker, when he turned around.

 

“There you are.”

 

Even with the loud ambient noise, Kat knew that damn voice. She glanced up in shock, seeing Tom’s gorgeous smile and reddish brown hair, a hint of a goatee on his face. Every-fucking-thing looked good on this asshole.

 

It was a mistake not to wear heels, now she was straining her neck to look up at him. “I was about to leave! Why didn’t you let me know?”

 

“I had a show,” Tom smiled. “Two actually, and you send me messages but you don’t happen to ever read mine.”

 

“Shut up,” she glared up at him, but her smile peeked through. “It’s nice to see you.”

 

He grinned, pulling her into one of his trademark tight intimate hugs she missed so much. “Do you have time to chat and catch up?” He asked.

 

“Of course! Buy me a drink and let’s play some darts or something. I’m sick of sitting.”

That ended up being a bad idea, she was terrible and he schooled her in the fucking game three times in a row.

 

“You’ve gotten better.” His body brushed by her in the crowded pub, taking his drink.

 

“Well, I’m hitting the dartboard now and not the wall, so I guess that is a step up. Maybe it’s because, I’m not trashed yet.”

 

“You’re on your way there if you keep going.”

 

“Pshhh,” Kat waved her hand. “Who do you think you’re talking to?” She noticed the place filling up, and they…well Tom, was getting more and more attention.

 

He glanced around, taking note of the same observation, but returned his complete attention back to her. “How long are you here for?”

 

“Leaving tomorrow evening.”

 

“Would you like to come back to my place?”

 

“Why? You don’t like being ogled by every male and female in the room?”

 

He laughed quietly, then gave her a knowing smirk. “You know I do.”

 

She laughed and blushed. Confident Tom was almost too much to handle. Not that he wasn’t always confident, but the way he carried himself and knew how he affected others really turned her on.

 

Kat really wished Tom was as oblivious to his hotness as other nice guys. But this man had it down fucking pat. He had the sort of charm that would allow him to murder people Patrick Bates-style and get away with it. That kind of charisma only existed in serial killers. Women would line up to be his victims, and who the hell was she kidding? She’d elbow her way to the front. Her eyes nearly rolled up at the thought and her already damp panties got wetter. And what a sexy death it would be.

 

Tom took her arm in his when leaving, opened the cab door for her and did everything a gentleman would without even a hesitation or second thought. As if it was fucking natural. What a fucking freak.

 

Kat liked the rough types, tatted up, dirty looking, hipsters, and assholes. The complete opposite of this guy. Just what the hell? Likable…she hated likable people, but she never met someone like Tom. The man didn’t have flaws. It should make her hate him more; she usually did with overly good people, but the man…fuck this guy, seriously.

 

Kat wanted to punch his gorgeous face; she was almost lost for words when she first saw him in person years ago. It was like being kicked in the gut once your eyes laid upon his stupid body.

 

Tom gave her a strange look in the cab and Kat wondered if he could read minds too. Good, I hope you can you outrageously hot fuckface.

 

“Why are you glaring at me?” He asked with a smile.

 

“I’m not glaring. You know this is my normal face.”

 

He chuckled to himself. “You are adorable, Kat,” he said leaning over her lap to open her door as they arrived at his flat.

 

She pursed her lips walking up to his door. With all her bitchy attitude and sarcasm she fucking knew behind his sweet demeanor was someone that wouldn’t be fucked be with. Tom was playful, and enjoyed letting others play with him usually. There were moments when she was privy to the glimpses of actual seriousness that crossed his features. Not acting, which was intense enough in itself, but when his voice and eyes had that no nonsense vibe, dear God, anyone in a 5 mile radius would be brought to their knees. She’d seen men and women at the end of that shit, no one was immune. When Tom wanted something, you listened and you did what the fuck he said.

 

He’d make a hot fucking Dom, right up there with James Deen. Oh fuck, that would be a threesome...Kat was in a haze walking into his apartment, her mind in a dreamscape that would never exist, and thank God, because the world might actually end with that much concentrated sexy.

 

“Now, you’re welcome to spend the night here, if needed. I can sleep on the couch, just don’t get yourself so piss faced that you miss your flight in the morning.” Kat looked up at him; he gave her a slightly serious look. “Yes?”

 

“Yeah I get it, dad.” Saying that wasn’t the best idea.

 

“Believe me; you would not enjoy it if I was your father.” The tone in his voice made the heat between her legs worse.

 

“No kidding,” she said.

 

“Are you okay with scotch?” He asked from the kitchen, and Kat had no idea she was even alone, spacing out in the room.

 

“Yep, it’s all good.” She took it from him with a pursed lipped smile and took a deep chug. It burned and she made a face, but swallowed.

 

“So what’s your next big thing?” Kat asked sitting on the arm of his sofa.

He looked down at her, a hint of annoyance at her lack of decorum, but said nothing. She felt the warm sensation of building up that reaction in him, and her smile didn’t hide that.”

 

“Out of the country again to film. Not too far from the States, just north in Canada.”

 

She had the urge to tease him. He knew what he was getting into just having her around, and it was a fun game to throw off Tom. He was so good at keeping it together.

 

“I read a really hot fanfic of you fucking Norman Reedus and messing around with Jeremy Renner.”

 

He took a step back as if he was smacked in the face, before bursting out with a laugh.

 

“Really? That’s new.” He licked his lips trying to regain a semblance of control, but failed. His laugh was even more intoxicating. “Oh I missed you,” he said smiling broadly. “Is that what you do in your spare time, reading rubbish like that?”

 

“Hey, it’s _way_ better than 50 Shades of Shit.”

 

“I don’t even understand how one would even come up with a scenario like that,” he furrowed his brow.  

 

“It’s actually pretty easy. I mean, come on,” she gave him a knowing look. “How many chicks do you bang as Loki?” She asked.

 

“Kat,” he sighed. “Please, don’t start with this again. I have never done that, and I don’t plan to ever.” His mind still worked out her words, and she assumed he was just now getting it.

 

“I’m not talking full leather gear. Although, that would be really hot. Just role play, yeah?” Kat was just throwing the both of them into the most awkward conversation she could come up with.

 

The look in Tom’s face told her to drop it, but he still indulged her. “Believe me; it’s impossible to be sexy getting in and out of that. And the answer is still no.”

 

She already knew his costume was a pain in the ass, but it’s still a nice mental image. “Lame.”

 

“So you want to fuck Loki. I figured as much, but there’s quite a line for that request.” He said leaning back against his counter.

 

Tom could actually ignite fucking shock, awe and surprise in her. When he turned it on, it was fucking magic. She wondered if he fed on her reactions as much as she fed on his.

 

“But I’m special, right? If anyone, I at least get first dibs on that? I better have first dibs on that…after Chris maybe.”

 

Tom wrinkled his nose, but the fake disgust fell through to another laugh. She loved how she could break him sometimes with saying just the right shit.

 

“See this is why Darcy and Loki could never be together, we could never make it through a scene.” Kat said. “You couldn’t keep character.”

 

Challenge was thrown. His eyes pierced hers with a surprised but hungry look. “Is that what you think?”

 

Kat smiled. “Yup.”

 

“And what why would Loki give Darcy a second glance?” He asked, looking her down.

 

His face already hardened, you just needed to look at his intense eyes to know when he shifted into a character.

 

Now they needed a fucking plot? “She’s got…information…on Jane and Thor, he’d want to keep an eye on them.”

 

Tom didn’t look convinced. “That’s the best you got?”

 

“Hey! I didn’t know I needed to write a fucking script for this. We shouldn’t be talking all that much anyway.”

 

Tom laughed again, a bit darker, “Alright,” he pushed Kat against the wall, his hands slid up her body. “Listen to me and you won’t get hurt, mortal.”

 

She really had to try not to smile. But God, she loved how he touched her.

 

“I don’t know anything,” she said nervously.

 

“Well that’s obvious,” he responded sarcastically, and Kat’s eyes narrowed just barely.

“Do you want to know what it’s like to be fucked by a God?” He asked grinding his hips into hers. Kat moaned out, fuck she forgot how big he was. She was so fucking ready for this. His lips brushed against her ear. “Kneel, human.”

 

Kat paused. “I don’t think so.”

 

Tom pulled back, obviously confused, and slightly entertained. “That wasn’t a request,” his eyes alone almost made her fall to the spot on the ground, but she kept it together.

 

“Darcy totally wouldn’t kneel.”

 

Tom came out of character in disbelief. “Are you serious? He’s a super-powered alien that murdered people, where his morals lie now is ambiguous at best. He’s dangerous.” Tom’s features turned back to Loki’s. “She. Would. Kneel.”

 

She wasn’t sure if it was the scotch or her own interpretation of her character that somehow kept her from mindlessly bending to his will. “Nope.” Kat smirked at Tom’s annoyance with her response.

 

Tom rolled his eyes. “Then he’d kill you,” he said simply. “End scene.” He took a sip of his drink and regained his casual stance.

 

Kat sputtered a laugh, “That’s it? Just..” She clapped her hands together once. “Boom! Murder!” She was slightly irritated at how fast he shut it down. “No way, Thor wouldn’t let Loki get away with that.”

 

“Thor doesn’t know Loki is even alive, it would appear as a random act of violence.” Tom countered as if that was basic knowledge.

 

“Darcy’s way too street smart to just fall for Loki’s schtick.”

 

“I must have missed that bit in the script,” he said crossing his arms with far too much sarcasm for her liking. “Why are you reading so much into this?”

 

“Just cause all women in the real world would bend over backwards to suck Loki’s dick doesn’t mean that Darcy would.”

 

Tom was still laughing, but the mocking tinge to it didn’t make it any better. “Are you serious? She’d be the first one on her knees. The girl is a hapless intern. Actually,” Tom paused and put his finger to his lips and he walked around her. “Darcy ruining a sexual encounter with Loki due to her stubbornness truly might be on point.”

 

Tom knew how to fucking patronize when he wanted to, but Kat wasn’t having it.

 

“Loki’s such a baby he can’t stand not having his ego stroked every fucking second.” She was actually getting mad, and from the look on his face, he appeared to feel the same way.

 

“Stop.” He said putting both hands up and giving her a calm but firm gaze. “I’m not getting into an argument with you about character integrity.”

 

“Was that as good for you as it was for me?” She deadpanned. Kat couldn’t believe how something so sexy in her head fell apart in real life.

 

“The best I’ve ever had,” he said running his hand back through his hair.

 

“I could see the two of them hate-fucking,” Kat said unable to at least drop one last point. “If they could shut the fuck up long enough.”

 

Tom shook his head unconvinced. “Oh, I’m not sure that’s genuinely attainable.” He looked her over. “Are you done wasting time? I’d already be fucking you now if you didn’t want to reenact hypothetical scenarios.”

 

Tom’s face blatantly showed his heated desire and Kat almost passed out. She grit her teeth, now he was turning it on her.

 

“I don’t know. I have a few others we could try.” Now she was just doing it to be a bitch.

 

“So why don’t you do us both a favor, and listen to me.”

 

Kat picked up her glass, but he plucked it effortlessly from her hand, making sure her full attention was upon him.

 

“I’m not playing games all hours of the night. Perhaps if I had prior notice that I was meeting you for elaborate sex games, something could have been arranged.”

 

Oh shit. Serious Tom. She pouted, she didn’t like when he brought the hammer down. It made her feel like a little kid.

 

“Kat? You get me?”

 

And now he wanted verbal agreement. Ass. “Yeah, yeah fine.”

 

“Good,” the pleased smile on Tom’s face almost makes it all worth it. “Now what do you want?”

 

“Huh?” She thought that was fucking obvious. The look in his eyes made her feel like a moron.

 

“Why do you want Loki?” Tom clarified. “You want it rough? Do you want to be controlled, because you’re terrible at following commands?”

 

Kat opened her mouth to protest, but he put up a hand and her mouth shut instantly.

 

“Or,” he looked her over. “Do you want me to make you?”

 

She was breathing hard. “Uh, maybe the last one.”

 

“Well I’m certainly not going to wrestle and drag you around my flat tonight.”

 

“Well yeah, whatever,” she waved her hand carelessly. What the fuck did he just get her to admit to?

 

“I’m strong, but I’m not that strong,” Tom smiled slyly. He came around from behind, taking her wrists and pinning them at the small of her back. “I would need rope or something to keep you held down.”

 

Did she just unlock Pandora’s box? Good God, how was her brain supposed to function after this? He led her forward easily, with Kat in a daze to his bedroom.

 

“It sounds so tempting now.”

 

Kat didn’t have to see him to know the smile on his lips. And that voice shouldn’t be allowed. He needed to be gagged.

 

“I could do whatever I wished with your body.”

 

“Yeah, maybe next time,” she finally pulled free of his grip and spun around as they crossed into the threshold of his room. “But right now, that’s not the case.” Kat was sick of being on the receiving end, and constantly feeling like a desperate whore. Her hands unbuckled his belt as she grinned up at him.

 

Yeah, get even by sucking his dick… wait, that didn’t sound right.

 

She pushed him back to his bed, so he was seated and pulled down his pants lower. God, his legs were obscenely long. He lifted his hips without a word. As much as she liked being seduced, she knew any guy liked it just as much. She freed his cock, kneeling between his legs and smiled hearing Tom’s breath catch in his throat.

 

She ran a hand through her hair pushing it back and to the side over one shoulder. Kat wanted him to have a perfect view. She licked her full lips, and ran her tongue over the head, lapping up the clear fluid, pleased with how hard he was. His labored breath followed; she placed a palm on his inner thigh, the other gripped the base of his cock and took him fully into her mouth.

 

Tom’s moan was the epitome of sexy. She never got aroused so badly from hearing noises that came out of a man’s mouth before. If she could, Kat would do an ‘Irene Adler’ and make Tom’s moan her ringtone or text alert on her phone.

 

His hands caressed the back of her neck as she sucked him. His slender fingers slid up the nape of her neck and got lost in her hair. She glanced up, his eyes were heavy lidded, and lips parted with each deep breath, but he was definitely watching her.

 

She dove down deeper, taking his cock as far as she could. Tom squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his head back with his fingers clenching in her hair. As much as Kat wanted to fuck him, she wanted him to come in her mouth just as badly. He was close; she felt his cock hardening even more against her tongue, along with his soft gasp and small thrust up with his hips.

 

Kat pulled her head back, but his hips and hand forced her back in place. She was afraid of choking if she laughed, but used some actual pressure to free herself and take a nice deep breath. He growled and she stood back up, “So you’re taking the couch right?”

 

“Don’t play with me Kat. Get undressed,” his impatience was out of the ordinary, his fingers undoing his incredibly well-fitted shirt.

 

Someone was frustrated; Kat enjoyed it immensely. She smiled and lazily kicked off her shoes. Sure she was dripping and ready to ride him that very second, but getting him so wound up needed to be savored.

 

She pulled her shirt off over her head and while blinded his hands encircled her waist and threw her down to the bed. Tom’s hand already had her jeans undone, and she helped shimmy out of them and her panties. He wasn’t wasting time. Tom pulled her to the edge of the bed by her legs and kneeled on the floor.

 

“Jesus!” Kat yelped at the sudden wet lap against her slit and the speed at which the events were unfolding. “I was trying to be sexy.”

 

His tongue paused against her folds. “And you obviously succeeded.”

 

Kat didn’t let him go down on her for long. After a couple of swirls around her clit she had to arch herself away from his mouth. This had been a few hours in the making being around all his stupid hotness, and not much was going to put her over the edge. Kat couldn’t have that happen so soon.

 

“Aw, fuck,” she groaned and pulled at his hair. “Okay, quit it!” She leaned up but fell right back down again as he licked over her clit again. “Come on!” She kicked his back with the heel of her foot. Tom grunted and lifted his head.  

 

“You’ve done nothing but acted a brat, why should I cater to your desires, Love?”

 

He knew she was helpless against his dominant mode. Kat hated herself for it. “But that’s why you like me.” She grinned back at him as he moved his knee between her legs and brought his head up to hers. She kissed him messily, her tongue licking up all of her wetness that surrounded his mouth and in the light facial hair he had on him. She loved him clean shaven, but the feel of the scruffy texture under her tongue and against her skin had her moaning into his mouth. He tasted like Tom and pussy. The most delicious thing she ever experienced.

 

Tom’s naked body pressed against hers, Kat arched her back to him. Her leg hooked around his hip, but he jerked back. “What? Everything’s the same I’m still on the pill. Hurry the fuck up.”

 

“Do you want to fuck Loki or do you want to fuck me?” He asked hungrily.

 

Oh the power play. The bastard was lucky she would sell her future firstborn child for his cock right now.

 

“You, Tom, fuck.” He didn’t budge even against her pretty strong thigh muscles, trying to drive him into her. “This is why I want to be on top.”

 

“And maybe I’ll let you if you start behaving.”

 

“I am behaving you sonofabit-“Tom sank into her suddenly, no longer holding back, and Kat’s legs were still doing all they could to get him inside. His own strangled moan was covered by her own cry. The first thrust was always the one that got her. God, she missed this.

 

“I forgot what a pleasure it is to have you around my cock,” Tom muttered.

 

“Did you get bigger?” Kat asked with a smile, but bit her lip at the sensation of him slowly sliding out and then forcibly back, even deeper.

 

“Trying to make this easier on yourself now?” He asked. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

 

“Oh hell no. Why would I do something like that?” Kat asked. Tom gripped her hips and rolled over so she was on top.

 

“Alright then, get to work,” he said lying back with a smile.

 

She sat up straight, a hand on his abs and slowly sank even deeper, all the way down to his thighs with a sigh. Tom’s facial expression changed to almost pained.

 

“What’s the matter?” She asked raising herself up and sinking down again with a throaty moan. She wasn’t sure he could even feel anything as wet as she was. His cock and thighs were coated with her.

 

Tom’s hands shot to her hips and kept her still before she could continue. He breathed out slowly. “Just hold on a second.”

 

Oh fuck that was hot. So, he almost lost it, did he? She grinned and tried to move against his wishes.

 

“I’m serious,” he hissed, glaring at her.

 

Kat leaned forward; pushing her full breasts against his chest, and braced herself with her hands on his shoulders. He was just too tall to try and maneuver around him differently.

 

His hands finally released her, and he nodded at her to continue. Kat smirked. “You make me feel like a sex Goddess sometimes. Who the hell are you banging that I’m this good?”

 

“I don’t usually fuck dirty, little American sluts.” Tom answered and suddenly forced his hips up, and Kat shrieked at the unexpected thrust.

 

She panted out and rocked back with him. “And what does that say about you?  The proper, classy English gentleman fucking the dirty, American slut,” Kat could barely get the last part out. She was watching his face, going to get off of watching him get off like a fucking freak.

 

She let him start to take over; his hands on her ass pulled her to being filled.

 

“It says that I have a weakness for trashy whores,” Tom’s voice was a pant mixed with a growl.

 

“God, yes,” she shuddered, digging her nails into his shoulders.

 

His brow furrowed and he spit out the word “Fuck.”

 

Kat came at the sound of his curse, just seconds before he did. Her high pitched little cries were embarrassing enough. She wanted to smother them by burying her head into his shoulder, but he gripped the back of her neck forcing her to display the reaction of her climax right in front of him.

 

“Fuck yes, I love hearing you come,” he rasped. Kat was still in the midst of her orgasm, but managed to at least open her eyes and watch him finish. That was a beautiful sight, his hand unconsciously tightened on the back of her neck when his head fell back. His nails dug into her sensitive skin and he groaned his release. Her pussy was still clenching down on his cock when he spilled himself inside of her.

 

He let her neck go and she let herself fall down onto his chest with all her weight. “Damn.” She groaned not wanting to move. “We need to do that more often.”

 

 Tom sighed contentedly and Kat slowly rolled off of him to the side. “Agreed.”

 

“I need a fucking cigarette.” She stretched and took a deep inhale through her nose. His pillow smelled so good she thought about stealing it. That wouldn’t be creepy, not at all.

 

“Norman Reedus?” Tom asked with confusion into the silence. Kat rested her head on his shoulder and laughed into his chest.

 

“He’s the crossbow dude from The Walking Dead.”

 

Tom turned his head to her with a glare. “I know who he is.” He paused, seemingly lost for words. “It’s just unexpected.”

 

Her fingers ran down his chest, “You’re curious, aren’t you?”

 

Tom grasped her hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed it before pulling her closer. “Not in the slightest.”

 

“I can send it to you.”

 

“No, thank you.”

 

Kat leaned up to dig her cell phone from her discarded pants and make sure an alarm was set; then sent him a quick text with the link. She cuddled back to him and Kat’s silent laugh was given away by the shaking she couldn’t help.

 

Tom’s phone chimed from the living room and he bit his lip to keep back the laugh. “I’m not going to read it.”

 

“I totally believe you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 


End file.
